The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

Chances come and go. Opportunities arise the you never expect to even be possible.

When something happens that knocks us off of our feet, se never know how to react to it. It seems like every fathomable thing that could happen never does, and the most ridiculous things do happen. 

I have chosen to live my life what many people would call "different". I am sound in my morals and I very rarely go against them. But this might be why I'm not happy enough. 

To be quite honest there are things I wish that I had, and cannot think of anything else I can do in order to gain these things. The only fathomable way would be to go against my morals. I'm not about to do that. 

I have chances to get what I want, and in not taking he chances, I am essentially following my morals, and you might say I'm blocking my shot. But how can you block a shot if no one takes one?

The point is that I am not blocking my shot, I'm simply not taking it. And I'm not taking it because i do not. DO NOT. Want to sink to a level that isn't me to get something that I don't even NEED. Just something that I WANT alot. Point being, I have to stick to Isaiah 40:31 and wait. I need to be patient. 

When it comes to this certain thing, I'm thick skinned as it is because I've taken the abuse that it has dealt me. It kills all the time. It hurts like a bitch. But my only options are to sink to a lower level or simply wait. 

I will never become the Boy that Blocked His Own Shot. I take chances that keep me sound in my morals. And if I wind up missing, I just get another ball and take another shot when I'm open.

I will never. Ever. Ever. become that boy. 

Please Believe ME!!!

So yeah.... 

It sucks when you tell people things and they don't believe you.

It really sucks if you went through it, and your advice is completely relevant and helpful.

It seems like people don't like help. They like fixing things themselves.

You don't always have to learn the hard way.

If people give advice and they know where you're coming from.

Listen to that shit.

Explanation.

So.

Here's the wind, watch it blow. What does that mean, dude?

Well. It's a part of some lyrics that I wrote:

Gently swinging, here we go.

Here's the wind, watch it blow.

Here's my life, watch it fall.

Here's the end, once and for all.

It's more or less that life goes by, and the drastic, life changing, extremely important things, well.... they sort of just happen. You can't really control them. You don't really have a say in those things, for example a death, or a disease, or someone lying to you, or people being fake about certain things. All you can do is just watch this thing go by you, and sometimes it sweeps you up and takes you with it. And it's just about dealing with shit. No one likes to do it, and everyone likes to avoid it. 

That's the basis of this. It's just a matter of being able to sit down and be like. Okay. 

Here.

It.

Is. 

Here's my problem, and here's the source of my depression/anger/etc. I need to deal with this, because whining and complaining and suffering isn't helping it go away. People don't like the idea of facing their problems, because, yes, it could get messy. But dealing with something worse for a short period of time is better than dealing with one bad thing forever. 

read that again it's a little tricky.

The point is that people do too much settling. They settle with how things are, when things could always be better than they are. Always. 

And so just accepting the fact that things are going downhill, you watch your life fall.

And you fall into this sadness or anger. 

And before you know it. You are going to die. 

I cannot fathom the idea of dying depressed. Dying angry at someone. Dying sad. 

These emotions don't have to control you. But they do. It's hard to take control of yourself.

And some things can't be controlled. So Do Not Try To. Just wait. He's got it controlled.

But serenity and peace come from a situation being controlled. 

As for the picture, you might ask, why a bird?

I have a thing about wings. They're incredible. Most of the time, 

wings = flight

Think about flying. wow. 

okay, so the biggest thing about flight for me is Isaiah 40:31.

Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint.

This is just incredible to me. Just having that strength is unbelievable, and no one seems to accept this power. It deals with every situation. It simply means this. If you don't have it under control....He does. He's got it.

He's Got It.

Here's the Wind. Watch it Blow.

So I have a lot of things to say. All of the time. 

My friend just showed me his blog. It inspired me. 

So this will be my glass in which i pour myself into when there is no where else to pour. Poems, lyrics, songs, parts of songs, feelings, whatever. This will be where you see the real me. 

I may say things that you don't agree with. I may say things that inspire you.

I may change your life. Who knows. I don't.

I just hope that within each post you read, at least one sentence...no..... at least one WORD will make you think. Never go into one of my postings expecting not to be moved by what I'm feeling. This blog is going to be a complete emotional excursion, and I'd like to take as many people as I can with me, so maybe someone will understand what I'm thinking. 

Let's learn to look past the exterior and accept what people are inside. Emotions are the very intensity that is life.

-Matthew